FYI: anyone reading this and close enough to come, you are invited to Joe's baptism Saturday at 10:00 at the church.
Things I've said in the recent past:
"I know he's bugging you. Ignore him."
"UBBY!!! The goal is the other way!!!"
"Yes, you have to have your Halloween costume on if you are going door-to-door to beg candy from people!"
"No, Boo, you can't go on the street corner, open your violin case and start playing your violin to try to earn enough money to go see Wicked!" (And then I think, but I don't say, "Funny, yesterday I was the meanest mom in the world for making you practice.")
"Ignore him."
"Run and get me rag so I can clean up Sweet Pea's spit up before she starts playing with it!"
"No, Doe, you don't get $1 for every 'E' you get on your report card." (An 'E' is the highest grade on our report cards. It means "exceeds".)
"Wait. Ask again and see if my answer changes." (With all the sarcasm I can possibly put into a sentence.)
"Please don't hurt him when he annoys you. Ignore him."
"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but we are not 'the Smiths'. I don't really care what other kids are and aren't allowed to do. We are our own family with our own rules."
"Hurry, grab that wrapper before Sweet Pea puts it in her mouth!"
"Yes, Ubby, I'll help you write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining why there is no tooth, again..." (We have a habit of losing our teeth before they make it under the pillow for the tooth fairy.)
the next morning...
"I'll bet the tooth fairy wants you to look hard for your tooth and then maybe she will come tonight if you still haven't found your tooth." (That tooth fairy. Very forgetful.)
and yet, the next morning...
"It must have been a busy night last night. I'll bet the tooth fairy will come tonight."(I think our tooth fairy has Alzheimers!)
"I know you hate math. But you still have to do it."
"Do you really want to go on a "special date" with me, or are you just hungry?...Here, I'll get you a snack." (Whenever Ubby is hungry he asks for a special date to go to McDonalds or somewhere to eat.)
"I'm pretty sure you won't get a shot in your mouth to numb it while the dentist fixes your chipped molar." (Hoping I sound believable.)
"Really? You had to have two shots? That's too bad. I'm glad you were brave and didn't complain." (Congrats to me for not having to deal with a melt down about having to get a shot at the dentist. It's better to feign ignorance than to deal with the complaining.)
"No, I do not want a bite of your 3 foot long gummy snake. It looks...yummy, though, thanks anyway."
6 years ago
8 comments:
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
I love it! I hope this isn't a transcript from a single day... :-)
There really should be a manual that comes with each child it would make our lives a lot easier.
This is a great Post!! Very Funny!!
Oh the things you thought you'd never say. Sounds like good mothering to me, though.
This post was so much fun to read. It brought back memories of thing I have said and given me ideas of things I can say:)
Too funny! Sad thing is I remember my mom saying these things to me and my brother and sister. :) Not too long before I will be saying these things to my kids.
My older children now tell my younger children, "Don't worry the tooth fairy is coming, she just had to go to all the kids that lost their 1st tooth first. Then she comes to those of us that have lost teeth before :)"
I'm glad to know that we aren't the only house the tooth fairy forgets more then once, and leaves notes instead of teeth.
Wow, your everyday sounds like my everyday. Funny how we say a lot of the same things (over and over and over).
I like this post following the Perfect family post. I'm going to have to print off your list so that I can remember what to say to Marianne. That was all definitely mommy language. :)
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